Feminist or not?

Last night I participated in an incredible panel of Jewish female clergy.  There were seven of us on the panel but there are more of us here in St. Louis, which is pretty incredible, if you ask me.  

Participating in a panel is always an interesting experience.  You have a small sense of what is going to happen, as you know the general topic and in this case can give an opening statement, but you have no clue what your fellow panelists are going to say, nor do you know the questions that will be asked. 
 Since last night, I have been thinking about the last question asked.  It has not left my mind, and I though I answered the question, I am still wondering, pondering, considering my answer.  We were asked, "Would you consider yourself a feminist?"  Of course, I was asked to answer first.  

Hmmm. . .  Am I a feminist?  Yes.  Maybe.  I don't know.

I shared that I started my freshman year of college a proud, very excited Women's Studies major.  But it was an experience and a conversation in a class that left me disappointed and running away from Women's Studies and at the time what I thought of as Feminism.  We were asked to describe who we wanted to be, what we wanted to do when we were done with college.  I said that I wanted to be successful in my career, but in addition to that, I was so looking forward to being a wife, a mother, and specifically, for whatever reason, describing my desire to be the "soccer mom" driving my kids in a Volvo.  It was a picture I had painted for myself and in my mind there was absolutely no reason that I could not be a successful career woman and a "soccer mom."  Yet, it was another classmate who challenged me and told me that I wasn't a feminist if I wasn't focused on my career and showing people the power of women; and I was also told that I would never truly know what it is to be a feminist until I knew what it was to love a woman.  I was totally confused and at that point disillusioned with feminism.  Why did I have to love another woman?  Why did I have to choose between a successful career and being an active mom?  Why can't I do it all and be it all?

In many ways, I did not realize until the panel last night just how lucky I truly am.  I grew up in a congregation where at my Bat Mitzvah there was not only a male rabbi on the bimah, but a female rabbi and a female cantor.  So for me, it never seemed out of the realm of possibility that if I wanted to be a rabbi, I could be a rabbi.  It never seemed to me that I couldn't be whatever it was that I wanted to be.  In that sense, I am truly lucky.  I had role models and saw women in roles that others didn't.  But, this doesn't mean that I don't recognize those who came before me and made it possible for me to dream and to realize those dreams.  I am thankful for the suffragists who fought for my right to vote. I am thankful for Rabbi Sally Priesand and the many other female rabbis who came before, who broke the barriers not only at Hebrew Union College, but in the congregations we now serve.  I am thankful for those women, who I studied and hold in such esteem, like Bette Freidan and Gloria Steinam, who challenged others and fought for equal rights for women. So many of these women had to fight for rights and to overcome injustices that in my life, I have not fully experienced, and for that I am thankful.  And, as was mentioned last night, in our fighting for women's rights, many doors have been opened for men that perhaps were never realized.  How many more men see their role as a husband and father differently because of the women's movement?  How many more dads are recognizing that they, too, can stay home and raise a family while their partner works, if that is what they desire?  How many men in negotiating job contracts and thinking about their personal/work life balance now consider things like paternity leave?  All of this is in no small part to the women's movement.

Do I think that women have fully shattered the glass ceiling and have achieved full equality and acceptance?  No.  There is still a difference in pay, there are still differences in how we are viewed in comparison with men, there are still doors that have not yet been opened or even realized.  I have felt my own little "slights" as a women working in the rabbinate, but these are opportunities to help make change and help ensure that those behind me don't experience those same "slights."  I know that not everyone is comfortable with a female rabbi, and I accept that.  I don't see myself as any different than a male rabbi, other than the fact that our anatomy is different and well, I can't look like the stereotypical rabbi, as I cannot grow facial hair.  But in being who I am, which yes is a woman, I am changing opinions and minds in my own small way.  In assuming the leadership poisitions and career roles that I have thus far in my life, as well as balancing that with being a wife and mother, I am changing the world around me in small ways, and hopefully helping young women and men see that it is possible to be, if you want, successful and find balance in working and having a family.

I was asked after the program last night, "what is the definition of a feminist?"  I had to say, "I don't really know anymore.  I know what I think or thought it was."  So, I looked it up.  Merriem Webster describes feminism as: 1.  the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes, 2. organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests  

Given these definitions, especially the first one, I am absolutely a feminist.  As I mentioned last night, I would describe myself as an "equalist."  What is an equalist?  To me, it is someone who absolutely supports this first definition of feminism.  In addition it means to be someone who supports organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests but also men's rights and interests.  We live in a time where I believe we not only have to support strong women who believe in equality but we have to support and build strong men who believe the same.    In addition, as the women's movement has opened access to so many places women never went before, we have to be ever vigilant that this opening of the door to women doesn't close the door to men.   As a mother of a young son, I want him to realize, just as much as my daughters, that the world is open to him.  He doesn't have to conform to any societal views of who or what men should be.  Nor should my daughters.  I want each of my children to embrace who they are and be who they want to be. 

So, as I ponder this question - Yes, I am a feminist, but. . .  for me old assumptions, old views, or at least what I think of as old assumptions and views, don't work for me anymore.  I don't want to be seen as a female rabbi, I just want to be a rabbi.  I take pride in being a woman, and love being a woman, but it doesn't necessarily define who I am as a rabbi.  I don't think I do anything differently, consciously, because I am a woman.  I don't know that female or male doctors, lawyers, truck drivers, police officers, do anything differently just because of gender.   I want young people to grow up knowing that men and women can be anything they want to be, regardless of gender - rabbi, doctor, firefighter, stay at home parent, President of the United States!  

Response to the announcement of a new law in Missouri - which apparently defends the celebration of Federal holidays

Dear Mr. Brattin and Members of the Missouri Legislature,

I am writing in response to a letter that was sent out to School Administrators and Board Members regarding HB 278*.  I keep reading this letter over and over, and while you may be “excited and extremely pleased,” I am appalled that our state government has spent so much time and energy on this bill.  Why are you not spending time on important topics like building our Missouri economy, creating more jobs for Missourians, and upholding laws that support background checks for those purchasing guns, so that our state and country might be just a little bit safer?  Instead, you focus on the observance of federal holidays?    

I truly do agree with you , that “America is meant to be a land of freedom where we can express ourselves in the way we see fit,”  but to spend your time fighting to mandate that we allow federal holidays to be discussed and taught in the public sector, who are you kidding?  Other than Christmas, which is a religious holiday, what other federal holiday is “banned” as you say from the public square?  Are you defending the right of teachers to teach about Martin Luther King, Jr. and Christopher Columbus?  I don’t know what schools or public places you have been in lately, but most of these holidays are being taught and talked about with our children.  Yes, Christmas, has been given a different status, but it has a different status, as it is a religious holiday.  If I am not mistaken the First Amendment gives the freedom of religion and religious practice.  Federal holidays were not set out for the purpose of practice, rather they were established to allow federal workers and later other workers the opportunity to have paid leave on those days, whether or not one observed or practiced on that day. 

I recognize that the majority of our country is Christian and celebrating Christmas, but please, to say that not teaching about or celebrating Christmas in the public square is an “infringement upon our rights that we should not tolerate,”  is ridiculous.  What about when my child, who attends a public school, for which I am paying taxes, feels left out because the “holiday” musical only includes Christmas songs?  What about the large Christmas tree sitting in his school lobby?  Why does he have to be made to feel different?  Sure, the tree and the decorations are pretty, but why can’t these be reserved for someone’s home, someone’s private, personal celebration?  Shouldn’t all of Missouri’s children, in public schools, feel comfortable and safe at school?  If parents want to celebrate religious holidays at school then they have every right to send their children to private, parochial and/or religious schools.  Don’t force it on everyone! 

One of the beauties of our country is that it is “a melting pot” a place where freedom can be and is realized.  Our forefathers, with the establishment of our country and the First Amendment, provided the right, the freedom to worship and pray to God in whatever manner one so chooses. 

Ultimately, your letter and your law are not about the rights of us celebrating federal holidays.  I cannot imagine anyone who would argue with celebrating Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, New Year’s Day, Columbus Day, Labor Day, MLK Day, and even Presidents’ Day.  Each one of these federal holidays has a special meaning in the history of our great nation.  These are days that already are observed and “celebrated” within our communities.  I understand that a large majority of our world, of our country, observes Christmas, but as a holiday, it is not an “American” holiday.  It is a religious holiday that celebrates something very specific, special, and holy to Christians, not to all Americans.  I can accept and understand that it was made a federal holiday for the purposes of ensuring that the government shut down when the majority were observing.  But its placement as a “federally –deemed holiday” was not about observance and celebration for all Americans in a public place, it was about giving paid leave so that those celebrating could do so without being penalized or losing pay.

As a Missourian, I am saddened that my legislature is spending time and energy on a bill that truly does not represent freedom for all.  Allowing for the celebration of “federally deemed holidays” does not make for a brighter future for Missourians, rather, this fight takes away from the important tasks for which you and your colleagues were sent to Jefferson City, to make this state as great and as wonderful as it can be.  Focus on growing our economy, creating more jobs, focus on healthcare, on education, focus on protecting the environment so that the beautiful landscape of Missouri will be here forever.

Feel free to wish me a “Merry Christmas,” it won’t offend me, but don’t take away my First Amendment right to not celebrate a “federally deemed holiday” and please don’t force my child or any child to feel uncomfortable in a place where he or she has every right to be and to feel accepted! 

I hope that you and the legislature will think about how in your defending the rights for some you have ignored the rights of others.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Brigitte Rosenberg

*HB 278   Prohibits any state or local governmental entity; public building, park, or school; or public setting or place from banning or restricting the practice, mention, celebration, or discussion of any federal holiday

Rosh Hashanah Sermon 5774

There was a recent article in Tablet Magazine by Abigail Pogrebin entitled, “High Holiday Services are Boring.  Here's How We Can Fix Them.”   Let me share a little of it with you.  “Year after unchanging year, rabbis guide their flocks through the long hours of often stilted liturgy without explaining what's being recited, how it's relevant, or where a segment begins or ends.  Congregants turn page after page, parroting passages aloud as instructed, sitting and standing (and standing. . . and standing. . . ) with few people knowing why.  One chant runs into the next, often sung by a polished but formal choir whose high-church timbre can be distancing.”

As I read her description of high holiday services I couldn't help but feel like I was in a Charlie Brown High Holiday special, all I imagined was Charlie Brown, Lucy, and Snoopy sitting in shul and hearing the rabbi and cantor who sound something like this. . . “wonh wonh wonh wonh.”

I truly hope your experience is not quite as she described nor I imagined, but Ms. Pogrebin's article definitely gave me something to think about and consider.

Her article brings up issues that we rabbis and cantors worry about weekly, but most especially at the holidays.

There is a story of a man exiting the synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, and as always the Rabbi was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Rabbi said to Levi, "You need to join the Army of God!"  The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of God, Rabbi."  The rabbi gave Levi a puzzled look and questioned, "How come I don't see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?"  The man whispered whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

While we can all laugh at this story, we also know that it is a reality of Reform Jewish life; many of you are members of that same secret service, showing up only to grab your assignments at the high holidays.  So, if people are entering to pray only a few times a year – this makes the job of a rabbi and cantor even harder.

Recognizing that we are not entertainers, let me repeat that, we are not entertainers, we still think about how do we appropriately, energetically, and creatively help guide and inspire?  How do we connect what is going on in the world at a particular moment to Judaism?  How do we do this without offending, without upsetting, without being too political, and of course without going on too long?  Our ultimate goal is to make a four thousand year old tradition relevant to each person sitting in this sanctuary.  Not an easy task.

But, I also wonder, what about you? What about you? Whether you are a member of God’s secret service or whether you are here on a more regular basis, what is your goal when you walk into this sanctuary?  If Ms. Pogrebin's statement about boredom is true, are you already bored when you walk in?  If so, why?  Is it the idea of the service that bores you or is it Judaism?  Have you closed yourself off to the possibility of connecting with God, of being moved, or being excited because you expect to be bored in a prayer service?

What I really want to know is: Is it really about services or are we collectively suffering from spiritual and religious  boredom? Think about that.  Boredom according to the Webster’s dictionary is the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.  So, this means that spirtitual boredom is not about doing the same thing over and over, but due to a lack of interest.  From where does this lack of interest come?  Is it from not understanding what it means to be Jewish, what it means to pray, what it means to connect with God?  Is it just easier to be bored and join the secret service than to do the work of learning more, so that we can feel and experience more?

We live in a rapidly changing world.  Information is at our fingertips and we know things almost the minute they happen.  We are plugged in almost 24/7, from computers to smartphones, to Ipads, tablets, and now Google glasses.

We can access entertainment at almost anytime and anywhere with Netflix, Pandora, iTunes, Football on your phone, and so on. . .  It seems as if we can get what we want in an instant.  We like the ease of life and perhaps the fact that we really no longer have to wait to get what we want.

In today's world we are constantly moving, hardly resting.  On top of work, whether we are raising a family or not, many of us take on an extraordinary amount in our lives, which leaves no time, no room, for rest.  No time to sit quietly, to think, to just be.

It is no wonder we are suffering from spiritual and religious boredom – we don't know how “to stop and smell the roses” or as the rabbis would say, “stop, experience, and say a blessing.”  We don't have the time or make the time to recognize the beauty and wonder that is around us.  We don't allow ourselves the time to sit and ponder those questions we once asked - “Who created all of this?  What does Judaism say about this or that? How can I get through this moment and move forward in my life?”  Perhaps we assume that since we didn't get the answers in Religious school, they don't exist or we won't ever really get them, so instead of pondering and perhaps studying or asking our questions, we seek to find the quickest answers, the easy answers – we turn instead not to our Jewish sources but to the internet, to Wikipedia, to the talking heads on television and radio, wanting a quick answer rather than an answer that might be lengthy or one that leaves us with more questions than answers.

So, why are you here today?  I know, today is Rosh Hashanah, but if Ms. Pogrebin’s article rings true and High Holiday services are boring, why are you here?  Is it because you have to be?  Because you have been coming your entire life and feel obligated to be here?  Because you’re Jewish and that’s what Jews do?  Are you here to talk to God, to pray, to be in community, to renew yourself?

By the way, any and all answers are acceptable because at this moment the most important thing is that you are here.  Now I will ask, are you just physically here, meaning your body is here but you are thinking about all the things you could be doing outside of this sanctuary, like work, play, errands?  Or are you here- mind, body, and soul – ready to pray, ready to be inspired, ready and willing to do the hard work of teshuvah, of repentance and self-renewal?

What does it mean to be truly here? To truly be present?

This morning, our Torah portion focuses on Abraham.  Abraham, the first Jew.  He was a seeker.  He was open to the world, to seeing, to hearing, to experiencing.  It is this openness that led him to God.  Abraham walked with God, talked with God, trusted in God, so when God calls out to Abraham in this difficult Torah portion, Abraham, before even hearing God's request responds, “Hineini – I Am Here.”

This answer, Hineini, is not the same answer of “here” that a student, bored in class, would give a teacher or the answer I might give my kids when they yell, “Mom, where are you?” and while engaged in something else, I answer, “In here.”  Rather, Hineini is a statement of being present.  It marks a moment – Here. Now.  Here is where I am ready to listen and do what needs to be done.

Abraham went on to hear what it was he had to do.  There is a lot we could discuss and argue about him and his decision in this portion, but I want to focus on the fact that he was present.  Though he may have been filled with doubt and with anger, he was still present in this story.  He never removed himself because of fear; he never shut down because he was unsure of what was coming next.  Instead, he repeats the word Hineini – three times in the text – once to God, once to Isaac, and once to the Angel who reaches out to him at the end of the story.

The word Hineini kept him focused, grounded, moving forward, all the while probably doubting and grumbling, but he stayed present, he saw his task through to the end.  One wonders, “how did he do it?”

Has there been a time when you have been called on to be present?  A time when you have been challenged to be wholly there?

For me, I think back to the late spring when we were celebrating Zoe becoming bat mitzvah.  Many of you were there to share in this beautiful and incredible day, but what you may not know is that it was a strange and slightly difficult moment for me.  Through her study and process, per her request, I was asked to be present as a mom and not as a rabbi.  This was an eye opening experience.  I can truly say that I now understand what every parent goes through in getting their child, their emerging teenager, to this awe filled and inspiring moment.  I had to prepare myself for the service and I was worried.  Worried that the moment I stepped up onto the bimah that I would enter rabbi mode and forget that I was there as a mom.  I had to set that part of me aside, I had to let go, and I had to trust.  I had to trust Cantor Eichaker, Rabbi Shapiro, and Rabbi Kaplansky would bring the same care that I think I bring to the bimah each week.  Not that I doubted their abilities, because believe me they are incredible and always bring that care to this bimah, but it was about me and letting go and being present.  Like Abraham, I believe on that morning I was able to say, “Hineini – I Am Here” as a proud mother, watching my daughter stand before God and accept her responsibility as a young Jewish woman.  I am still filled with gratitude for that day and for the experience of letting go and being present, truly present as a mom.  It was an incredible gift.

So how do we say Hineini – I Am Here – with as much conviction as Abraham did?  We do it because of trust and faith.  Trust and faith in ourselves and in God.  Trust that we will follow through with the commitment to ourselves to get through whatever comes our way and certainly trust and faith in God, knowing that with God by our sides, we are never alone.

Today is about being present.  Today we are Abraham and God is calling out to us.  God is asking us, Ayekha, “where are you?”  This is not a question of where we physically are at this moment, but a question of where we truly are, in our lives?  Where are you in your life's journey?  Are you happy with how things are going or are there changes that you want to make?

Today we are being called to action and each of our responses should be, “Hineini – I Am Here.  I am present, I am ready, I am open to the hard work of renewal, the hard work of prayer, ready to get out of this spiritual and religious boredom by rediscovering God and the beauty of Judaism in this New Year.  I am ready to open my mind, to listen, to  hear God’s call and the call of others.

So, are you ready? Because the difficult work begins.  These next few weeks are long and the services, yes, they are long, too.  It is hard to sit through services when we don’t always understand what’s going on.  Between Hebrew and English, we move quickly and don’t always get the chance to think about what is being said.  So of course, as we sit in this sanctuary, our minds wander and we think of anything and everything but the book, the prayers in front of us, and God.   God.   How do we renew a relationship with God when we can't relate to the God portrayed in our holiday prayerbook?  Admittedly, this God is kind of scary.  So, to whom are we really praying?  Is God listening? If so, as our prayerbook says, is God judging me, judging my actions?  Is there really a book of life and of death in which God decides who shall live and who shall die?  These are big questions but, there is a reason our prayer book leaves them as questions.  This is because we don’t know the answers.

I do believe that God is listening but I don’t believe that God is sitting on a throne or at a desk and somehow recording every little thing that the millions of Jews around the world do and deciding the fate of each individual.   If that were the case, I don’t think I could believe in that kind of God.  It goes against Judaism's belief in free will.  If God is the one who decides, then what ultimately is the point of us even attempting to renew ourselves?

But in offering us different images of God in our liturgy, we are reminded that God is always there, in some form.  There is an old rabbinic teaching, “God is like a mirror.  The mirror never changes, but everyone who looks at it sees a different face.”   Maybe you prefer and find comfort in a God who sits on high and offers judgment.  Or maybe you like the balance that is offered of a majestic God, who can mete out punishment, but a God who also offers unconditional love, as does a parent.  The beauty of Judaism is that God can be different for each one of us, that is why when we say the Amidah, we refer to the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of Sarah, of Rebecca, of Rachel, and of Leah – because to each one of our ancestors, God was different.   Their relationship with God was different, and the way they related to God was different.  So, too it is with us.  It is likely that no two of us will have the same relationship with God or view God in the same way, and that is ok.

Judaism has the power to save us from the spiritual and religious boredom that plagues us.  Being Jewish is a state of mind; something that takes place inside of you.  But doing Jewish, is something that happens between you and others, between you and the world.  Through ritual, through prayer, through seeing the Divine in others, through acts of goodness, each of us is an extension of God, taking the ordinary and making it holy.

Ayekah?  Where are you?  Are you here?  Are you ready?  Let's begin.

Let's start with prayer.  What do you think makes prayer less boring for some and not for others? Or easier and less scary?  I think it is practice.  The more you pray, the easier it gets, the more likely you are to have a meaningful experience.  Someone calculated that if you have a meaningful prayer experience every 100 prayer attempts, then if you are only here praying 3 times a year, it will take you 33 years to have a meaningful experience.  33 years – No wonder we’re bored!!  But if you pray 3 times a day (obviously some of this is on your own) then it is once a month!  And this does not mean that you are limited to only having one meaningful prayer experience every 100 times.  For some it certainly comes more often.  Just last week I had a beautiful experience with some of you and you didn't know it.  Some of us were together at a house of mourning, gathered to offer our comfort.   It is often my experience when leading a shivah minyan, that there are not many voices that join in with me, and those that do are quiet.  But last week, there were some of you that recited, chanted, and sang the prayers, loudly, right along with me.  What made that moment so special?  Those who were praying with such vigor, I knew from past conversations, they can't read Hebrew, yet, they prayed in Hebrew.  How?  They are present, they practice, they are familiar with the service, which is why they prayed with such joy, they didn’t worry about the words, but rather about why we were praying.  So, when it comes to praying, practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does make one comfortable.

You don't have to follow along with us word for word.  If a word, a sentence, an idea strikes you and you want to stay on that page and ponder it a while, go ahead!  The book is merely a guide to help us through the process of thinking and talking with God.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do something every day that scares you.”  This means step out of your comfort zone, don't assume you won't like something, or that it will be boring.  Take a risk, take a chance.  Do something you've never done or thought you would never do.  Instead of reading the words and rotely reciting them, close your eyes and just listen.  Hear the voices around you.  Listen to the music, perhaps you will experience prayer in a different way.  Put on a tallit and feel the weight of it on your shoulders.  In feeling it can you connect with it being a tent of prayer?  Do you sense God's presence differently because of it?  These may not seem all that scary, but when we are used to doing and being like everyone else in a communal setting, doing something different, something new can be scary.

Simple gestures and facial expressions can alter the way we experience life.  Smile and you may just create something to smile about or if nothing else make yourself and someone else feel better.  For what are you thankful? Say it aloud, and smile.  Allow the feeling of thankfulness and of being blessed in that moment to move through you. Offer blessings – there are so many miraculous things around us to bless, and each one of us has the power to bless and offer blessing.  This is not something reserved for God or for rabbis and cantors.  And, blessings and prayers don't have to be something written by someone else and they most certainly don't have to be in Hebrew.  Prayer and blessings should come from our hearts and our souls.

Today, before you leave, step into one of our blessing chuppahs with your family or with a friend.  Offer a blessing to each other for the New Year.  Allow yourself that opportunity.

And of course, I think I say this in at least one sermon every high holiday season, rediscover Judaism - through books, through learning, and through ritual.  There are so many opportunities for learning at United Hebrew, which you can see in today's handout.  If there is something you have always wanted to learn about and we are not offering it, then let us know, we can either study one on one with you or put together a class so that lots of us can study together.  Judaism has so much to say about so many topics, we cannot possibly run out of things to study.   Study leads to questions, which lead to ideas, which lead to thought, which leads to action, and so on. . . when you are actively engaged in study and learning that you love, you can't possibly be bored!  And there are rituals for every aspect of life.  Rituals that help us sanctify time and mark occasions in our life.  Rituals of joy that help us celebrate and rituals that help us in our times of need and of grief.  All of them meant to help us express ourselves and connect with God in that specific moment.

Every Shabbat morning, as Cantor Eichaker begins to sing Mah Tovu, my eyes drift to the other side of the page, as I am drawn to a beautiful commentary at the bottom of the page.  It is a beautiful lesson, from Mikdash M’at, a manual for prayer, that can serve for us a starting point for shaking off our spiritual boredom and awakening ourselves to being present in this New Year.

“When you see the synagogue from a distance, say, “How fair are your tents, O Jacob, your dwellings, O Israel.”

Upon arriving at the synagogue door, stop momentarily to arrange your clothes properly, and say, “I, through your abundant love, enter Your house.”

Then leave some charity for the poor – as much as you can afford – and, concentrating within yourself, say, “Hineini – Here I stand, ready and willing to perform the commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Then you may pursue the love of God.

Ayekah?  Where are you?  Are you present?  Are you ready?

This year, may each of us, be like Abraham, and find the strength, the courage, the faith, to hear the call of God, to hear the call of others and to answer in a loud, strong voice – “Hineini – I am here!”



*Thanks to Dr. Erika Brown’s Spiritual Boredom: Rediscovering the Wonder of Judaism and Abigail Pogrebin.

Syria - The Internal Battle of How to Respond

Last night, on my way to a meeting, I was listening to the talk on NPR.  There was discussion of a possible "three day war" in which the United States would respond to the chemical weapons attack in Syria.  Just the other night I truly wondered if President Obama would stand by his "red line."  It is not that I am opposed to his line, but what a difficult position to be put in.  This is where I realize that the words we speak matter, and at some point we are held accountable for them.  So now, how do we respond?

As a Jew, I cannot help but wonder how different the world would be if the United States or someone else had responded when they first learned of the mass killings of Jews throughout Europe during WWII. Chemicals were used in those gas chambers, yet it took years for a real response.  Perhaps we have learned our lesson and recognize that if we don't respond, who will?

As an American citizen, I worry.  I worry that a military response won't be "three days" but could be months, and even years.  I worry that Bashar al-Assad is just crazy enough to retaliate to whatever strike we would make.  But again, how do we stand by when someone in this world is using weapons so egregious that they are killing and maiming innocent people?

Whatever President Obama and the military chiefs decide it won't be without thought and the understanding of consequences.  Last week's Torah portion, Ki Tavo, reminded us that "when we enter the land" there is the potential for blessings but also the very real potential of curses and/or consequences for our actions.

So, how do we respond to this question of what to do in Syria?  Do we support action even if we are scared of consequences? Or, do we say, "stay out of it, it is their problem and not ours?"  This is the internal battle.

Judaism has quite a bit to say regarding war, although this case is likely not something that the rabbis of the Talmud even considered.  Yet, there are more modern responses from those who sadly have witnessed the atrocities of  modern warfare, so we can look to them and consider how they might respond in this situation.
Before we come to a discussion of war, there are of course mitzvot that we can turn to that might point to an imperative of how we should act.  "V'ahavta l're'acha kamocha - love your neighbor as yourself, Leviticus 19:18."  I'm not sure if this is too simplistic, but I am quite certain that as a country we would absolutely defend ourselves against an enemy using chemical weapons on us, so why not respond when such weapons are being used on someone else?

Or what about the teaching, "If you destroy a single life, you have destroyed the world, but if you save a single life, it is as if you have saved the entire world?"  Again, a simple teaching, but if we act, how many people are we potentially saving.  Consider our world if someone had thought about this lesson sixty years ago?  Those who perished may have brought new ideas and insights into the world that would have changed the way we do things.

Judaism makes provisions for war.  We are taught that there are three types of wars: Obligatory (these are the ones commanded by God), Defensive (these are obligatory, for when someone attacks you defend yourself), and Optional (wars fought for a good reason where there was no other option for negotiation.)

In my understanding I think we stand at the precipice of Optional War.  A war fought for the sole reason of standing up for humanity and saying, "the rest of the world will not stand by and watch you destroy anyone with chemical weapons."  Warnings were given, but the line was crossed.  The Torah reminds us that we have the duty to defend a threatened third party.  We see this is Deuteronomy 22:27, where there is a cry for help and an expectation that someone will indeed come to the aid of the victim.  And we see this in Leviticus 19:16, "You shall not stand idly by." But, this does not give us carte blanche to launch weapons and kill.  Even in Optional war, Judaism is very clear that before declaring war, or even a strike, there must be an attempt to make peace - "When you approach a town to attack it, you shall offer it terms of peace" Deuteronomy 20:10.

So this is where we stand.  It is an interesting place to be - do we stand up to the aggressor or do we sit back and wait?  Though we are not fighting for our own lives, this is an issue that was broached in the Warsaw Ghetto, "do we stand up, resist, and engage the aggressor, or do we not?"  Initially, they did not resist, as it was taught that the Torah forbade Jews to engage in war, but in January 1943, at a meeting of the ghetto's surviving leaders, Rabbi Menachem Zemba,  gave rabbinical approval for the uprising. . . “ In the present, when we are faced by an arch foe, whose unparalleled ruthlessness and program of total annihilation know no bounds, the Halakhah demands that we fight and resist to the very end with unequaled determination and valor for the sake of Sanctification of the Divine Name.”*

While we Americans are not fighting a "Holy War,"  we are up against others who are fighting for the life of their regime and are certainly up against some who are fighting in the name of God.  From my point of view, God would not approve of the use of chemical weapons in said "Holy War."  If peace is the ultimate goal of the Torah, even amidst the laws of war, then chemical weapons are not holy, nor would they be sanctioned or approved of by God.

Yet, even as I remind myself of the Torah's laws of war and the reasons for why we would and should stand up to an enemy who is wreaking havoc and causing the deaths of so many innocents, there is still that battle. That all too human battle of what to do and how to respond.  There are no clear answers and certainly no clear outcomes.

But there is a little voice in the back of my head reminding me of Hillel's great teaching, "If I am not for myself who will be for me?"  President Obama and our leaders need to weigh every possible consequence and outcome to ensure the safety of all Americans.  "If I am only for myself, what am I?"  If we don't respond, who will?  If we allow someone to destroy others with inhumane weapons for no other reason than to destroy and kill, then are we any better than him?  "If not now, when?"  This is the biggest question.  When do we strike?  Whose support do we need?  Whose word will help tip the scales?

There are no easy answers in this game of war. . . of life and death.

We ask that God be with those who are suffering in the aftermath of the chemical weapons attack.  We ask that God bring healing to those who have been physically harmed, but to also bring healing to those who have lost loved ones and those who are still looking for loved ones.  We also ask, O God, that you help to speedily bring healing to our world, to a time when world leaders will no longer have to decide whether to attack one another in the name of humanity.  We ask that you bring peace to Syria, that you settle the hearts and the minds of its beleaguered citizens, may they know that you are with them, bringing them comfort and most importantly a sense of peace.

Merciful One, spread over all of us, the entire world, your shelter of peace and please grant to us and to all the world your blessings of peace!








*"Judaism and the Ethics of War," by Norman Solomon< International Review of the Red Cross, Volume 87, Number 858, June 2005.

The Holiness of Bouncing

This year our Early Childhood Director, Corinne Lagoy, introduced a new concept to our early childhood program, "Clergy Corner."  Once a month the rabbis and cantor take a turn “hanging out” with the children.  This is an opportunity for us to get to know the kids and for them to get to know us and be comfortable with each of us.  I have spent this year trying to figure out how to “hang out” with the kids who range from 15 months to 5 years (We haven't yet figured out clergy corner in the infant room, perhaps just holding them would be fine.).  We have done a variety of activities from reading books and talking, to having a Jewish preschool music dance fest in my office, and our Cantor taught them to bake matzah.  It is an exciting challenge.

Today it is my turn again, and we are going to bounce.  Our congregation has a bounce house that only seems to come out for big events, like youth group chavurot and the Purim Carnival, so I thought, “why not clergy corner?”  Today we will inflate the bounce house, and I look forward to inviting each group in to bounce with me. 

The preschoolers may not realize it, but this week, with the tragic news that just keeps coming, from Boston to Texas; we adults feel the weight of the world with all this sadness and grief.  This morning of bouncing, with their smiles and their giggles, it is my hope that in the lobby of United Hebrew our bouncing will fill our building with joy and ease the sadness and pain of this week’s events, just a bit.  Our bouncing will also enhance relationships and creating holiness that comes in just being and just bouncing.  They will once again see that the rabbi is just like them, although a little bit bigger.  Just as their smiles and bounces will uplift my spirits, it is my hope that our bouncing together will create a holiness between us, a recognition that their rabbi is always there for them, in times of sadness, in times of joy, and there to walk with them or bounce with them whenever they want and need.

wearing two hats. . . mom and rabbi

Why is there not a book for rabbis about being the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent?  I can already tell that the next 5 months leading up to my daughter becoming Bat Mitzvah are going to be crazy!

Many people have said, "I'm sure she'll be great, she is the rabbi's daughter after all."  Have they forgotten that she is a soon to be 13 year old girl?  I am convinced that she, like many others her age, believes in osmosis and that her prayers, Torah portion, and Haftarah portion will somehow make it into her head without her ever opening her book!!   And, I find myself asking the same questions I do with school projects, "How much do I help?  How much do I push?  How much do I correct?"  I certainly get a similar reaction from her that I might hear during a project, "the teacher didn't tell me to do it like that" and now I hear, "the cantor didn't tell me to do that or read that."  "Umm, ok, but I'm the rabbi, I can also give you assignments," I keep thinking.

And of course there are the eyerolls when I make corrections while she's reading Hebrew or even with her d'var Torah and prayer. 

Not only will these next few months be interesting and eye opening, they will also be a learning experience for me.   I have already found myself understanding the parents who came to me in the past and said of their own childrens divrei Torah and prayers, "my child can do so much better," " she writes so much better at school," etc. . .   I have always said, "it is fine, writing a d'var Torah and prayer are not easy, this is a different type of assignment than a school paper,"  and now, I am the parent who wants to say, "you can do so much better!"  Funny to be here!

So, where is that book again for rabbis who are the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent? 

Mission in a Nut Shell Part 3

In Beer Sheva we met with Avital Sandler Loeff, director of Israel Unlimited, the JDC Israel's division for disabilities and rehabilitation. We learned that for the past 3 months, Avital and the team at the Beer Sheva Center for Independent Living, had been planning for a possible emergency situation/s and how to help the disabled community.  I was in awe of the work that they do. First of all, as someone without a disability and who does not have someone in my immediate family with a disability, I never would have thought about what those who are disabled would need during a rocket crisis.  We had already heard from so many that when they tzeva adom alert came out, depending on where they were, they had anywhere from 5 seconds to a minute to get to a safe space, yet if one is wheel chair bound and the alert comes during the night when one is in bed, it takes more than a minute to get out of bed, into a wheel chair, and then to a safe space.  This is what Avital and her team dealt with.  Many spent their time in their ma'amad, their safe room, or some even had to sleep in their hallways.  Avital was able to send some people up north to some of the other Centers for Independant Living in Israel.  Her team, while taking care of themselves and their families, also regularly checked in with those from the center.  They took groceries, needed medications, and spent time on the phone helping to keep people calm.  They also regularly checked in with the Bedouin communities near them, whose buildings are not secure like the everyone elses. 

We heard from a young Bedouin man who is wheelchair bound.  He was driving one day when the sirens went off (In Beer Sheva they have sirens instead of the tzeva adom).  When this happens, one is supposed to pull over, get out of the car, and lie on the ground with your hands over your head.  He could not do this, because he would not  be able to get in and out of the car to lie on the ground.  So he stopped the car and mentioned the feeling of seeing the rockets through his front window headed toward him.  He then saw them blow up in the air.  I couldn't even imagine.

One of the beautiful things about this center in Beer Sheva, is that it serves the whole of the Israeli population, Jews, Muslims, Bedouins, Arabs, etc. . .   Avital mentioned that they have figured out peace where they are, as often they come together as a community to celebrate holidays, each other's events, etc. . .  They come together in community to run a restaurant on the premises, to do art projects, and they recently put together a cook book which they are now selling. 

This center and the JCD with Avital's expertise are doing incredible work!

Next we went back to Sderot to see the work of the Israel Trauma Coalition Resilience Center and heard from Talia Levanon, Director of the Israel Trauma Coalition and Esther Marcus, a social worker and ITC recipient.

The Israel Trauma Coaltion brings together numerous agencies doing incredible work.  Instead of each agency working on their own, the coalition brings everyone together to figure out how best to work together and help everyone.  They are no only helping those who receive a direct hit from rockets, but they are there to help everyone.  This is where groups came together to help with respite days to get kids away from the rockets, this is where support is given to families whose homes are hit.  They have social workers and psychologists who can meet with kids at school to talk about what it going on, etc. . .  This group, the ITC, even does work outside of Israel.  I was amazed to hear that they sent a small group to New York to see how they could help with Hurricane Sandy recovery.  In the midst of their own crisis, they reached out to help the American community, and to them it was no big deal, as the American Jewish community helps them so why would they not do the same?

Esther Marcus, lives on one the kibbutzim on the border of Gaza.  They have been there for 12 years, and her youngest has only known rockets falling and the tzeva adom.  She mentioned that after Operation Cast Lead, many of the kids quit wearing red, would refuse to use the color red in school, and association red with the rockets and the tzeva adom.  She shared with us a beautiful book that she wrote about all the colors gathering for a yearly gathering to share their stories and crown the color of the year.  Each color shared their story and what they have done and when it came time for red to share, she just cried.  She mentioned making kids cry and that kids are afraid of her.  She talked about how they are afraid her because they associate her with rockets when she is only trying to help keep them safe.  The other colors tell her how wonderful she is and that her color, red, has helped to save so many lives.  So, red is crowned the color of the year.  This book has been used to help kids understand that they tzeva adom is not meant to be a bad thing, yes it is scary when it goes off, but it is a good thing because it helps to save their lives.

From Sderot we headed back to Tel Aviv to meet with Ambassador Dan Shapiro.  To say that I was shocked when he walked in would be an understatement.  The Ambassador walked in and I thought he was another aide.  I asked someone who he was because everyone got excited and shook his hand and was told he was the ambassador.  Why was I shocked?  He is my age!  I said to my husband later, now I know how people feel when they learn that I am the rabbi at UH. 
I was expecting an older man, not someone my age, so I was quite surprised.  We had a wonderful visit with him and talked about America's support for Israel.  We also talked about how he and other diplomats in Tel Aviv experienced the rockets first hand.  They had to go into safe rooms and wait until the alert was over.  The one rocket that hit the water was not so far from the embassy.  We learned that he had just visited the south and saw some of the destruction and met with people to hear their stories.  I learned from others that many in Israel really appreciate Ambassador Shapiro.  He speaks Hebrew and will often give briefings and speak to the media in Hebrew.  His family is in Israel with him, and they too experienced the tzeva adom, but they understood and are doing well.

Finally, we ended our evening hearing from Yarden Vatikay, Director of the National Information Directorate in the Prime Minister's office and then from Brig. General (res) Asaf Agmon, CEO The Fischer Brothers Institute for Air and Space Strategic Studies.

Yarden talked about the communications office that he oversees.  His office was a part of the conversations that were had, along with the military, as they prepared for and went into Operation Pillar of Defense.  Israel is working on how they communicate better what is going on. 

Brig General Asaf Agmon spoke about the operation and also spoke a little about Iron Dome.  He talked about how it worked and how successful it was.  I asked him if they were worried that people would become complacent because of its success.  I mentioned how in St. Louis we have tornado sirens and many of us ignore the sirens and don't go to our basements and then asked if this might become a problem with Iron Dome.  Would people ignore the tzeva adom because of an assumption that Iron Dome works and would keep them safe?  He agreed that this could become a problem.  We also learned that people were relying at times too much on them.  For instance, the sytem is moveable and gets moved around because you don't want those who are shooting rockets at you to know where it is.  However, during this Operation one mayor publicly threw a fit that the iron dome was moved away from his city.  Sadly, he did not realize that Hamas would be listening to Israeli news and of course the rockets were then shot directly at that city.  So, Israel now has to teach their citizens to think strategically about Iron Dome and not rely solely on it.  They also cannot talk about it publicly, lest they give away  where it is and open up other places to rocket attacks.

Overall, this was an amazing trip.  I visited places in Israel that I had never been to before, specifically this area so close to Gaza.  I had been to Beer Sheva but never to Sderot or Netivot.
As always, I was and am amazed by the resiliency of Israelis.  The cease fire had already been in effect for a week, and they had already moved on with their lives.  They were thankful for the respite and holding out that the cease fire would continue but certainly ready should the rockets start falling again.

I was also amazed at the work being done to help.  I have always understood that Federation dollars were allocated to Israel but I guess I never fully realized how they were being utilized.  It was great to see where they money is going.  But I think more important than the money and allocations, I was simply in awe of the amazing work being done by the Federation, the Jewish Agency, the JDC, ORT, and so many others.  Most of all, I am so proud of how they have all come together.  Each of these organizations does amazing work on their own, but working together, they are doing incredible work. 

In thinking of Chanukah, one light is bright, but many lights together not only brings a greater light but also warmth.  What I saw gives me hope.  I am hopeful that here in St. Louis we can think about what they are accomplishing as individual agencies but also what they are accomplishing when they work together!!