As I read her description of high holiday services I couldn't help but feel like I was in a Charlie Brown High Holiday special, all I imagined was Charlie Brown, Lucy, and Snoopy sitting in shul and hearing the rabbi and cantor who sound something like this. . . “wonh wonh wonh wonh.”
I truly hope your experience is not quite as she described nor I imagined, but Ms. Pogrebin's article definitely gave me something to think about and consider.
Her article brings up issues that we rabbis and cantors worry about weekly, but most especially at the holidays.
There is a story of a man exiting the synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, and as always the Rabbi was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Rabbi said to Levi, "You need to join the Army of God!" The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of God, Rabbi." The rabbi gave Levi a puzzled look and questioned, "How come I don't see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?" The man whispered whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
While we can all laugh at this story, we also know that it is a reality of Reform Jewish life; many of you are members of that same secret service, showing up only to grab your assignments at the high holidays. So, if people are entering to pray only a few times a year – this makes the job of a rabbi and cantor even harder.
Recognizing that we are not entertainers, let me repeat that, we are not entertainers, we still think about how do we appropriately, energetically, and creatively help guide and inspire? How do we connect what is going on in the world at a particular moment to Judaism? How do we do this without offending, without upsetting, without being too political, and of course without going on too long? Our ultimate goal is to make a four thousand year old tradition relevant to each person sitting in this sanctuary. Not an easy task.
But, I also wonder, what about you? What about you? Whether you are a member of God’s secret service or whether you are here on a more regular basis, what is your goal when you walk into this sanctuary? If Ms. Pogrebin's statement about boredom is true, are you already bored when you walk in? If so, why? Is it the idea of the service that bores you or is it Judaism? Have you closed yourself off to the possibility of connecting with God, of being moved, or being excited because you expect to be bored in a prayer service?
What I really want to know is: Is it really about services or are we collectively suffering from spiritual and religious boredom? Think about that. Boredom according to the Webster’s dictionary is the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest. So, this means that spirtitual boredom is not about doing the same thing over and over, but due to a lack of interest. From where does this lack of interest come? Is it from not understanding what it means to be Jewish, what it means to pray, what it means to connect with God? Is it just easier to be bored and join the secret service than to do the work of learning more, so that we can feel and experience more?
We live in a rapidly changing world. Information is at our fingertips and we know things almost the minute they happen. We are plugged in almost 24/7, from computers to smartphones, to Ipads, tablets, and now Google glasses.
We can access entertainment at almost anytime and anywhere with Netflix, Pandora, iTunes, Football on your phone, and so on. . . It seems as if we can get what we want in an instant. We like the ease of life and perhaps the fact that we really no longer have to wait to get what we want.
In today's world we are constantly moving, hardly resting. On top of work, whether we are raising a family or not, many of us take on an extraordinary amount in our lives, which leaves no time, no room, for rest. No time to sit quietly, to think, to just be.
It is no wonder we are suffering from spiritual and religious boredom – we don't know how “to stop and smell the roses” or as the rabbis would say, “stop, experience, and say a blessing.” We don't have the time or make the time to recognize the beauty and wonder that is around us. We don't allow ourselves the time to sit and ponder those questions we once asked - “Who created all of this? What does Judaism say about this or that? How can I get through this moment and move forward in my life?” Perhaps we assume that since we didn't get the answers in Religious school, they don't exist or we won't ever really get them, so instead of pondering and perhaps studying or asking our questions, we seek to find the quickest answers, the easy answers – we turn instead not to our Jewish sources but to the internet, to Wikipedia, to the talking heads on television and radio, wanting a quick answer rather than an answer that might be lengthy or one that leaves us with more questions than answers.
So, why are you here today? I know, today is Rosh Hashanah, but if Ms. Pogrebin’s article rings true and High Holiday services are boring, why are you here? Is it because you have to be? Because you have been coming your entire life and feel obligated to be here? Because you’re Jewish and that’s what Jews do? Are you here to talk to God, to pray, to be in community, to renew yourself?
By the way, any and all answers are acceptable because at this moment the most important thing is that you are here. Now I will ask, are you just physically here, meaning your body is here but you are thinking about all the things you could be doing outside of this sanctuary, like work, play, errands? Or are you here- mind, body, and soul – ready to pray, ready to be inspired, ready and willing to do the hard work of teshuvah, of repentance and self-renewal?
What does it mean to be truly here? To truly be present?
This morning, our Torah portion focuses on Abraham. Abraham, the first Jew. He was a seeker. He was open to the world, to seeing, to hearing, to experiencing. It is this openness that led him to God. Abraham walked with God, talked with God, trusted in God, so when God calls out to Abraham in this difficult Torah portion, Abraham, before even hearing God's request responds, “Hineini – I Am Here.”
This answer, Hineini, is not the same answer of “here” that a student, bored in class, would give a teacher or the answer I might give my kids when they yell, “Mom, where are you?” and while engaged in something else, I answer, “In here.” Rather, Hineini is a statement of being present. It marks a moment – Here. Now. Here is where I am ready to listen and do what needs to be done.
Abraham went on to hear what it was he had to do. There is a lot we could discuss and argue about him and his decision in this portion, but I want to focus on the fact that he was present. Though he may have been filled with doubt and with anger, he was still present in this story. He never removed himself because of fear; he never shut down because he was unsure of what was coming next. Instead, he repeats the word Hineini – three times in the text – once to God, once to Isaac, and once to the Angel who reaches out to him at the end of the story.
The word Hineini kept him focused, grounded, moving forward, all the while probably doubting and grumbling, but he stayed present, he saw his task through to the end. One wonders, “how did he do it?”
Has there been a time when you have been called on to be present? A time when you have been challenged to be wholly there?
For me, I think back to the late spring when we were celebrating Zoe becoming bat mitzvah. Many of you were there to share in this beautiful and incredible day, but what you may not know is that it was a strange and slightly difficult moment for me. Through her study and process, per her request, I was asked to be present as a mom and not as a rabbi. This was an eye opening experience. I can truly say that I now understand what every parent goes through in getting their child, their emerging teenager, to this awe filled and inspiring moment. I had to prepare myself for the service and I was worried. Worried that the moment I stepped up onto the bimah that I would enter rabbi mode and forget that I was there as a mom. I had to set that part of me aside, I had to let go, and I had to trust. I had to trust Cantor Eichaker, Rabbi Shapiro, and Rabbi Kaplansky would bring the same care that I think I bring to the bimah each week. Not that I doubted their abilities, because believe me they are incredible and always bring that care to this bimah, but it was about me and letting go and being present. Like Abraham, I believe on that morning I was able to say, “Hineini – I Am Here” as a proud mother, watching my daughter stand before God and accept her responsibility as a young Jewish woman. I am still filled with gratitude for that day and for the experience of letting go and being present, truly present as a mom. It was an incredible gift.
So how do we say Hineini – I Am Here – with as much conviction as Abraham did? We do it because of trust and faith. Trust and faith in ourselves and in God. Trust that we will follow through with the commitment to ourselves to get through whatever comes our way and certainly trust and faith in God, knowing that with God by our sides, we are never alone.
Today is about being present. Today we are Abraham and God is calling out to us. God is asking us, Ayekha, “where are you?” This is not a question of where we physically are at this moment, but a question of where we truly are, in our lives? Where are you in your life's journey? Are you happy with how things are going or are there changes that you want to make?
Today we are being called to action and each of our responses should be, “Hineini – I Am Here. I am present, I am ready, I am open to the hard work of renewal, the hard work of prayer, ready to get out of this spiritual and religious boredom by rediscovering God and the beauty of Judaism in this New Year. I am ready to open my mind, to listen, to hear God’s call and the call of others.
So, are you ready? Because the difficult work begins. These next few weeks are long and the services, yes, they are long, too. It is hard to sit through services when we don’t always understand what’s going on. Between Hebrew and English, we move quickly and don’t always get the chance to think about what is being said. So of course, as we sit in this sanctuary, our minds wander and we think of anything and everything but the book, the prayers in front of us, and God. God. How do we renew a relationship with God when we can't relate to the God portrayed in our holiday prayerbook? Admittedly, this God is kind of scary. So, to whom are we really praying? Is God listening? If so, as our prayerbook says, is God judging me, judging my actions? Is there really a book of life and of death in which God decides who shall live and who shall die? These are big questions but, there is a reason our prayer book leaves them as questions. This is because we don’t know the answers.
I do believe that God is listening but I don’t believe that God is sitting on a throne or at a desk and somehow recording every little thing that the millions of Jews around the world do and deciding the fate of each individual. If that were the case, I don’t think I could believe in that kind of God. It goes against Judaism's belief in free will. If God is the one who decides, then what ultimately is the point of us even attempting to renew ourselves?
But in offering us different images of God in our liturgy, we are reminded that God is always there, in some form. There is an old rabbinic teaching, “God is like a mirror. The mirror never changes, but everyone who looks at it sees a different face.” Maybe you prefer and find comfort in a God who sits on high and offers judgment. Or maybe you like the balance that is offered of a majestic God, who can mete out punishment, but a God who also offers unconditional love, as does a parent. The beauty of Judaism is that God can be different for each one of us, that is why when we say the Amidah, we refer to the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of Sarah, of Rebecca, of Rachel, and of Leah – because to each one of our ancestors, God was different. Their relationship with God was different, and the way they related to God was different. So, too it is with us. It is likely that no two of us will have the same relationship with God or view God in the same way, and that is ok.
Judaism has the power to save us from the spiritual and religious boredom that plagues us. Being Jewish is a state of mind; something that takes place inside of you. But doing Jewish, is something that happens between you and others, between you and the world. Through ritual, through prayer, through seeing the Divine in others, through acts of goodness, each of us is an extension of God, taking the ordinary and making it holy.
Ayekah? Where are you? Are you here? Are you ready? Let's begin.
Let's start with prayer. What do you think makes prayer less boring for some and not for others? Or easier and less scary? I think it is practice. The more you pray, the easier it gets, the more likely you are to have a meaningful experience. Someone calculated that if you have a meaningful prayer experience every 100 prayer attempts, then if you are only here praying 3 times a year, it will take you 33 years to have a meaningful experience. 33 years – No wonder we’re bored!! But if you pray 3 times a day (obviously some of this is on your own) then it is once a month! And this does not mean that you are limited to only having one meaningful prayer experience every 100 times. For some it certainly comes more often. Just last week I had a beautiful experience with some of you and you didn't know it. Some of us were together at a house of mourning, gathered to offer our comfort. It is often my experience when leading a shivah minyan, that there are not many voices that join in with me, and those that do are quiet. But last week, there were some of you that recited, chanted, and sang the prayers, loudly, right along with me. What made that moment so special? Those who were praying with such vigor, I knew from past conversations, they can't read Hebrew, yet, they prayed in Hebrew. How? They are present, they practice, they are familiar with the service, which is why they prayed with such joy, they didn’t worry about the words, but rather about why we were praying. So, when it comes to praying, practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does make one comfortable.
You don't have to follow along with us word for word. If a word, a sentence, an idea strikes you and you want to stay on that page and ponder it a while, go ahead! The book is merely a guide to help us through the process of thinking and talking with God.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do something every day that scares you.” This means step out of your comfort zone, don't assume you won't like something, or that it will be boring. Take a risk, take a chance. Do something you've never done or thought you would never do. Instead of reading the words and rotely reciting them, close your eyes and just listen. Hear the voices around you. Listen to the music, perhaps you will experience prayer in a different way. Put on a tallit and feel the weight of it on your shoulders. In feeling it can you connect with it being a tent of prayer? Do you sense God's presence differently because of it? These may not seem all that scary, but when we are used to doing and being like everyone else in a communal setting, doing something different, something new can be scary.
Simple gestures and facial expressions can alter the way we experience life. Smile and you may just create something to smile about or if nothing else make yourself and someone else feel better. For what are you thankful? Say it aloud, and smile. Allow the feeling of thankfulness and of being blessed in that moment to move through you. Offer blessings – there are so many miraculous things around us to bless, and each one of us has the power to bless and offer blessing. This is not something reserved for God or for rabbis and cantors. And, blessings and prayers don't have to be something written by someone else and they most certainly don't have to be in Hebrew. Prayer and blessings should come from our hearts and our souls.
Today, before you leave, step into one of our blessing chuppahs with your family or with a friend. Offer a blessing to each other for the New Year. Allow yourself that opportunity.
And of course, I think I say this in at least one sermon every high holiday season, rediscover Judaism - through books, through learning, and through ritual. There are so many opportunities for learning at United Hebrew, which you can see in today's handout. If there is something you have always wanted to learn about and we are not offering it, then let us know, we can either study one on one with you or put together a class so that lots of us can study together. Judaism has so much to say about so many topics, we cannot possibly run out of things to study. Study leads to questions, which lead to ideas, which lead to thought, which leads to action, and so on. . . when you are actively engaged in study and learning that you love, you can't possibly be bored! And there are rituals for every aspect of life. Rituals that help us sanctify time and mark occasions in our life. Rituals of joy that help us celebrate and rituals that help us in our times of need and of grief. All of them meant to help us express ourselves and connect with God in that specific moment.
Every Shabbat morning, as Cantor Eichaker begins to sing Mah Tovu, my eyes drift to the other side of the page, as I am drawn to a beautiful commentary at the bottom of the page. It is a beautiful lesson, from Mikdash M’at, a manual for prayer, that can serve for us a starting point for shaking off our spiritual boredom and awakening ourselves to being present in this New Year.
“When you see the synagogue from a distance, say, “How fair are your tents, O Jacob, your dwellings, O Israel.”
Upon arriving at the synagogue door, stop momentarily to arrange your clothes properly, and say, “I, through your abundant love, enter Your house.”
Then leave some charity for the poor – as much as you can afford – and, concentrating within yourself, say, “Hineini – Here I stand, ready and willing to perform the commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Then you may pursue the love of God.
Ayekah? Where are you? Are you present? Are you ready?
This year, may each of us, be like Abraham, and find the strength, the courage, the faith, to hear the call of God, to hear the call of others and to answer in a loud, strong voice – “Hineini – I am here!”
*Thanks to Dr. Erika Brown’s Spiritual Boredom: Rediscovering the Wonder of Judaism and Abigail Pogrebin.
