Why is there not a book for rabbis about being the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent? I can already tell that the next 5 months leading up to my daughter becoming Bat Mitzvah are going to be crazy!
Many people have said, "I'm sure she'll be great, she is the rabbi's daughter after all." Have they forgotten that she is a soon to be 13 year old girl? I am convinced that she, like many others her age, believes in osmosis and that her prayers, Torah portion, and Haftarah portion will somehow make it into her head without her ever opening her book!! And, I find myself asking the same questions I do with school projects, "How much do I help? How much do I push? How much do I correct?" I certainly get a similar reaction from her that I might hear during a project, "the teacher didn't tell me to do it like that" and now I hear, "the cantor didn't tell me to do that or read that." "Umm, ok, but I'm the rabbi, I can also give you assignments," I keep thinking.
And of course there are the eyerolls when I make corrections while she's reading Hebrew or even with her d'var Torah and prayer.
Not only will these next few months be interesting and eye opening, they will also be a learning experience for me. I have already found myself understanding the parents who came to me in the past and said of their own childrens divrei Torah and prayers, "my child can do so much better," " she writes so much better at school," etc. . . I have always said, "it is fine, writing a d'var Torah and prayer are not easy, this is a different type of assignment than a school paper," and now, I am the parent who wants to say, "you can do so much better!" Funny to be here!
So, where is that book again for rabbis who are the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent?
